Why Friend or Foe?

One of the first things you learn in treatment is you are not your eating disorder. You have to sepearte yourself from the eating disorder. The eating disorder is not you. It is a disease.

Food is friend. I very much know the importance of food. It nourishes me to do the things I love, like walking my dog, playing volleyball, pickleball, being active. Alice (my eating disorder) tells me the opposite. Food is foe. It makes you feel so full, it makes you fat, its not worth it.

A while back I was playing sand volleyball when it was hottttt. I played three games, nothing that I wasn’t used to. At the end of the third game, I had to run to the bathroom to puke. I was so malnourished and dehydrated I couldn’t even do the sport I loved.

Today, I walk up the stairs and my thighs ache, I get winded, I hate it, but I also hate food. I know food is what makes me capable of doing anything, let alone the things I love, but I just cant.

Friend – I know it is necessary, it nourishes me, it gives me energy, strength, so many things.

Foe – you will be full and fat.